


"OH EF EMINEM"

by zzZ_J



Category: Slim Shady/Eminem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:41:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27465853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzZ_J/pseuds/zzZ_J
Summary: From an earlier- probably 99' Shady to a more recent Eminem.





	"OH EF EMINEM"

This is dedicated to Eminem. Or whoever wants to listen to it. 

First of all, to the whole world out there, yeah, hi, my name is Slim Shady. I'm gonna wait for a minute of silence here and wait for you to finish your applause. Thank you ladies and gentlemen!  
And uh, right now I'm-I'm gonna give you a piece of useful advice here, so listen up yo——Don't mix us up you fucking idiots! Wait, uh, what? You guys wanna know what I think about him? Uh, well, you know, off the top of my head I'd say that he's a real piece of selfish shit that was brought and pushed to the top of the world by ME. But like, nobody gives a fuck about that either, they all were just, you know, they look at him and go say shit like'Oh hey yo look that's that Eminem dude who raps', -you know what I'm sayin? Or maybe you don't, whatever, doesn't matter, movin' on.  
But like honestly yo, Eminem would always be like "Slim, yo, dawg, you needa just, chill. Man, come on, you gotta get more matured, grow up" and just say shit like that all day long.  
I mean, I don't know though. Honestly speaking——uhm, I'm only saying this shit 'cause it's all about keeping it real, y'know, authenticity, so that when he sees this he won't be bitching around. Occasionally I'd let him clean up my shit and kiss my ass, you know, since he somewhat has more ways and shit. I earned it, I deserve it anyways.  
People sometimes were like "Fuck Eminem!", and every time shit like that happens he gets madder than I am, but he makes it look like the opposite. But we ain't got no time to diss all those motherfuckers out there, you know, so we just decided to fuck the whole motherfucking world when we've hit the rock bottom, and that's one of the few things that we may have in common, haha! 

And fuck that! I'm eating up my consciousness how 'about you?  
Hey Eminem! Are you afraid to blow this shit up you little cockboy, bitch? You were never crapped up all fucked over like I was?! You're getting OLD and you call it maturity, screw that! What, too much dope had shot your head up? Oh yeah it's me Slim Shady, I'm the one who everybody wants to see, ain't it? So just take a few Lunesta and finish up your pasta, you hippity dippity hoppity rippity drippity bitch! They say you're lyrical but they don't know that it came from hysterical, and it's a goddamn miracle that we make shit stay sensible n' logical!  
You tryna kill me murder me get rid of me? Whatcha hiding, what do you not want, huh? You know it's Slim Shady who made you the best of the game yeah? 

WE ARE NOT THE SAME!  
I'M ONLY SAYING IT ONCE. Yeah, there goes the once, Shady ain't gonna say it again, his point's clear enough. And if you don't get it? You can fucking suck my dick-Oh my God no, that ain't gonna make you smarter bitch, you'll just get on the newest line of the "Shady's Dick Is Feelin' Some Itch", and that adds up one more thing that I be constantly bragg-ing, oh shit this topic it-it's dirft-ing! 

Shut the fuck up! This gentleman right here is asking ME, BITCH, he ain't asking you like'OH WHat DoeS EMINEM WANt to saY ABoUt HIMsElF' alright? Yeah? Shut up, shut UP, shut the fuck up or get the fuck away girl!  
Oh what? Ah, what that was? Sorry haha, forgot y'all don't get to hear what I hear, excuse me if I was losing myself a bit, thank you man! 

Eh yo, y'all still followin' me?  
Alright! 

But anyways, I'm getting sick of this shit already. Just to wrap it up lastly, don't forget to check out that album yo. Feelin' like there's no need for me to really stress this shit cuz all of you out there already made this motherfucker go platinum but...I mean, you know, I don't really give a fuck about it anyways, just don't wanna go back to the days where he fucking bugs me and nags from my nugs all the time, haha.

You think it ends there? You think? You think?  
Oh shit the tape is running out! What's the address?  
Just- for declaration: What I said only stands for somebody's opinion, not necessarily anyone's or anyone else's. And last thing uh, oh yeah, my finger's up in your ass, slut!  
Once again, this is for-

**Author's Note:**

> TBH I have no idea what I was writing, and I know the rhyming part kinda sucked since I don't necessarily rap LOL
> 
> This was supposed to be a video tape thing but I guess it kinda ended up being an audio or whatever so-
> 
> Anyways thanks for reading 030


End file.
